(I think I may have been mad the day I wrote this..at least two years ago)
In the last month or so, the term "enabler" has been thrown at me. Of course, being ME...I have taken that one word and analyzed the heck out of it. In doing so I have realized a serious flaw in our society. It's the tendency to take a "good trait" and give it a seemingly ugly name.
For the most part, the person who gets termed an "enabler" is a genuinely nice person. They seem to love unconditionally and forgive without holding a grudge. They'll take care of the person who has stabbed them in the back if needed, and make sure the drunk, abusive husband is fed, clothed and tucked safely in bed. I guess "enablers" truly TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. (How disgusting!) Jesus, by today's definition was an enabler.
Now, if society were on the right path and this "psycho babble" people throw around made sense, the term "enabler" would be given to:
*the legislators who make laws that enable able bodied people to sit on their tush and collect a check * the leaders of the lending industry who enabled people to buy homes way beyond their means * the judges who enable heartless criminals to continue killing, raping, and abusing innocent people* planned parenthood for enabling incestuous fathers/uncles to rape young girls and then force them to get rid of their dirty little secret* the unions who enabled auto workers to negotiate themselves out of jobs * the bad doctors who wrecklessly dispense narcotics for a sore toe, enabling a drug addiction * Bar owners who enable under age kids to drink themselves into a stupor * Parents who don't pay attention to anything their teenager is doing , enabling them to get involved with drugs, unsafe/permiscuous sex, and alcohol abuse.....(and the ugly list could go on for days)
I guess my fury over this term really came last week when it was used to describe a person I deem a saint. She never says an unkind word about anyone. She always has a smile on her face despite her world never really being right. She doesn't have a lot in the line of material things and never whines about it. She always praises God for all that she has... However, she also loves, honors, and cherishes a man who verbally abuses her when he drinks. She worries about his safety, health, and emotional well being. She loves her children and does all she can, even when they are ungrateful. She gives of herself to everyone in need. She does not deserve to be reduced to a term as degrading as "ENABLER".
Let's be fair, call the true enablers by their name and call those who fit today's definition of an enabler what they really are......."NICE PEOPLE"...
Monday, April 11, 2011
Random Acts of Kindness
This mind of mine wanders way too much... which leads to what most may think are some ridiculous blog entries...but,...WHATEVER...
October 7th (2008) was one of those "low point in my life" days. It was the continuation of a bad October the 6th. anyway..... In the midst of this crazy time, I was informed that my water heater was not wired properly and I needed to upgrade the wiring before the house burnt down. I went to work until about noon, then left to go pick up the wire necessary to do the job. My dad had instructed me on what was needed and I headed to Lowe's. It was one of those days...when I just seemed to wander around aimlessly on the verge of tears, just hoping to make it home before they started to fall. My faith in the human species was tainted. I couldn't see the good in the world for some reason. This wasn't like me at all, but..on this particular day...I guess I wasn't me. The entire drive I just kept thinking..."What is wrong with the world today?" "Why does it seem like the right thing always yields the wrong result?" "Why, Why, Why???" It started to drizzle as I traveled along I-49 between Lafayette and Opelousas. I don't think I even noticed it until I parked the car. I exited in Opelousas and made my way into the Lowe's parking lot. I stepped out of the car, now aware of the drizzle. I didn't really think much about it raining on me. I didn't start to run or anything. I guess I didn't care much about getting wet at the time. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an African-American man, in his mid fifties about two rows over, look at me, then head my way. I remember thinking, "hmmm..I wonder what he wants?" "Is he coming to me?"...I wasn't afraid or anything. I just wondered why this man was walking across the parking lot toward me. He walked up to me, then extended his hand out and put his umbrella over my head. He looked straight into my eyes... " I'll get you there", he said. I looked puzzled. I started to say, "that's ok, I'm fine."...but before I could get the words out...he said, "You look like a real nice lady. A real nice one who needs someone to do something nice for her." He led me to the entrance of Lowe's and I thanked him. "No problem." he responded. I barely got inside the store before I found myself holding back the tears. This time tears of joy...Tears not of sadness..but, in the restoration of the presence of good people on this messed up planet. It's funny that today...exactly two months from that day...I thought of this act of kindness. I guess that's why I felt I needed to write about it. I do try to make sure that I make eye contact with those I greet in the stores these days..speak to them and let them know that I do notice them. I try to be aware of those around me, make sure there are no elderly people who can't reach or lift something that I do not help. I try to make sure to let the mother who is struggling to keep her small children in check go before me in line. It's important to pay attention...it's important to extend acts of kindness whenever we can... We never know how many people we may have touched with random acts of kindness.... but, I surely don't want to know how many we've let slip through the cracks.
October 7th (2008) was one of those "low point in my life" days. It was the continuation of a bad October the 6th. anyway..... In the midst of this crazy time, I was informed that my water heater was not wired properly and I needed to upgrade the wiring before the house burnt down. I went to work until about noon, then left to go pick up the wire necessary to do the job. My dad had instructed me on what was needed and I headed to Lowe's. It was one of those days...when I just seemed to wander around aimlessly on the verge of tears, just hoping to make it home before they started to fall. My faith in the human species was tainted. I couldn't see the good in the world for some reason. This wasn't like me at all, but..on this particular day...I guess I wasn't me. The entire drive I just kept thinking..."What is wrong with the world today?" "Why does it seem like the right thing always yields the wrong result?" "Why, Why, Why???" It started to drizzle as I traveled along I-49 between Lafayette and Opelousas. I don't think I even noticed it until I parked the car. I exited in Opelousas and made my way into the Lowe's parking lot. I stepped out of the car, now aware of the drizzle. I didn't really think much about it raining on me. I didn't start to run or anything. I guess I didn't care much about getting wet at the time. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an African-American man, in his mid fifties about two rows over, look at me, then head my way. I remember thinking, "hmmm..I wonder what he wants?" "Is he coming to me?"...I wasn't afraid or anything. I just wondered why this man was walking across the parking lot toward me. He walked up to me, then extended his hand out and put his umbrella over my head. He looked straight into my eyes... " I'll get you there", he said. I looked puzzled. I started to say, "that's ok, I'm fine."...but before I could get the words out...he said, "You look like a real nice lady. A real nice one who needs someone to do something nice for her." He led me to the entrance of Lowe's and I thanked him. "No problem." he responded. I barely got inside the store before I found myself holding back the tears. This time tears of joy...Tears not of sadness..but, in the restoration of the presence of good people on this messed up planet. It's funny that today...exactly two months from that day...I thought of this act of kindness. I guess that's why I felt I needed to write about it. I do try to make sure that I make eye contact with those I greet in the stores these days..speak to them and let them know that I do notice them. I try to be aware of those around me, make sure there are no elderly people who can't reach or lift something that I do not help. I try to make sure to let the mother who is struggling to keep her small children in check go before me in line. It's important to pay attention...it's important to extend acts of kindness whenever we can... We never know how many people we may have touched with random acts of kindness.... but, I surely don't want to know how many we've let slip through the cracks.
WHEN
WHEN
When all we know has left us
the darkness yanks us in..
The warmth of love is hidden..
beneath a thickened skin.
Harshness overtakes comfort...
Passion yields to shame.
Emotion becomes panic..
Endearment turns to blame..
What is left behind us...
tore at a weakened seam.
Now trying to look forward...
beyond the tattered dream....
When all we know has left,
we struggle toward the light...
something must be out there..
in the darkness of this night.
When all we know has left us
the darkness yanks us in..
The warmth of love is hidden..
beneath a thickened skin.
Harshness overtakes comfort...
Passion yields to shame.
Emotion becomes panic..
Endearment turns to blame..
What is left behind us...
tore at a weakened seam.
Now trying to look forward...
beyond the tattered dream....
When all we know has left,
we struggle toward the light...
something must be out there..
in the darkness of this night.
Soul Friends
We hear talk all the time about "soul mates" , that one person we were intended to be with since the beginning of time. I have thought much lately about what I would like to refer to as "soul friends".
There are people in our lives whom we connect with. It’s hard to pinpoint why at times.
It is assumed the connection is related to “common interests” or “similar likes and dislikes”.
I have come to realize that is not always true. I have learned that we connect with others on many different levels. I have connected with people I have never been in the same room with and developed bonds to last a lifetime or beyond. I have connected with people who I have disagreed with on many key issues. I have connected with some from the moment my eyes met theirs without a word being spoken and knew I had to have that person in my life on some plane.
So, how is this connection identified…
I can only explain it from my own view point
You know when you read their words, hear their voice, or see their face there is something deep within you that speaks to you. The person becomes a drug you cannot resist, no matter how hard you try. They are not necessarily meant to be your lover or spouse. It could be your best buddy or your favorite niece or nephew. It could be the eccentric old man who sits on the same park bench every day. It’s the acknowledgement of something you feel existed before you met them ( possibly before you entered this world) and is destined to continue past the boundaries of this life time. You just know if you met them somewhere in the eternities you would recognize each other immediately by the huge smile on your faces.
I can count the number of these people in my life on one hand.... My number stands at 4. I am thankful for these people. Interaction with them always adds a skip to my walk and a smile to my face.
I encourage each of you to explore who your "soul friends" might be...
There are people in our lives whom we connect with. It’s hard to pinpoint why at times.
It is assumed the connection is related to “common interests” or “similar likes and dislikes”.
I have come to realize that is not always true. I have learned that we connect with others on many different levels. I have connected with people I have never been in the same room with and developed bonds to last a lifetime or beyond. I have connected with people who I have disagreed with on many key issues. I have connected with some from the moment my eyes met theirs without a word being spoken and knew I had to have that person in my life on some plane.
So, how is this connection identified…
I can only explain it from my own view point
You know when you read their words, hear their voice, or see their face there is something deep within you that speaks to you. The person becomes a drug you cannot resist, no matter how hard you try. They are not necessarily meant to be your lover or spouse. It could be your best buddy or your favorite niece or nephew. It could be the eccentric old man who sits on the same park bench every day. It’s the acknowledgement of something you feel existed before you met them ( possibly before you entered this world) and is destined to continue past the boundaries of this life time. You just know if you met them somewhere in the eternities you would recognize each other immediately by the huge smile on your faces.
I can count the number of these people in my life on one hand.... My number stands at 4. I am thankful for these people. Interaction with them always adds a skip to my walk and a smile to my face.
I encourage each of you to explore who your "soul friends" might be...
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